Stories of the Human Spirit:
Case Studies
Facing Demons: A Journey through Unrelenting Guilt and Suppressed Anger
Introduction:
Gerome, a 32-year-old professional bodyguard, reached out for counseling after living with silenced guilt and anger for over 6 months. Gerome said that he had panic attacks, was losing motivation in life and at work, had trouble sleeping and had withdrawn from his family. Gerome said that something traumatic had happened to his 6 year old son despite his best efforts to protect his family, but he was unable to speak of it. His main outlet was exercise and he was punishing himself physically out of self-blame. He had never been to a counsellor or psychologist before.
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The Journey:
During the first few sessions, we circled around the unfortunate event but Gerome never wanted to address it. After the third session, we explored Gerome's cultural history. We learnt that there was immense shame held, and it could be traced to a generational approach when dealing with shame, i.e. suppress and not to be spoken about. We were finally able to speak about the unspeakable event. We also used a combination of Schema approaches and Multiplicity/Parts Work in order to understand how his default state when dealing with emotions, to heal his younger self, and to re-establish his relationship with anger. We used visualisation techniques over the course of several weeks to integrate the different parts of him that held various difficult emotions.
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Outcome:
Gerome reported ongoing improvements of symptoms but also an elevated sense of joy and ease. Needless to say he worked very hard to face his demons, and did his 'homework' regularly. He was someone who was motivated to get out of his painful existence, and he did plough through.
After six months of dedicated work, we noticed significant improvements. His relationships with his family improved. He was sleeping better. He could talk about the traumatic event without being triggered or suppressing emotion. He also made drastic changes with his professional life. He finally started a business he had always wanted to. And he was no longer exercising to breaking point, he was exercising for health, mental health and fitness.
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Client Reflection:
Gerome said, "I could never have gotten through this without your guidance. You were with me in the pits of my existence. You went the extra mile for me. I feel that I can handle my life and my family better moving forward. I'm so grateful, thank you."
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Conclusion:
It was a sobering kind of joy that filled the air during our last session. We exchanged letters of appreciation for each other to mark the end of therapy. My letter to him included how he had courageously battled his demons and succeeded. His success is a reflection of our therapeutic relationship, the trust he placed in me and the process, the eclectic humanistic approach taken, as well as his diligence to become a better version of himself.
Navigating The Negative Mother-Complex & Life after PhD
Introduction:
Mala, a single 30-year old international student came for counselling initially because she was struggling with the power dynamic imbalance she was experiencing with her PhD supervisor. She felt that he was neglecting her, avoiding his responsibilities and refusing to allow her to submit her thesis. Mala needed to graduate to be able to work and also apply for a Post-Doc. She felt that her supervisor was inconsiderate and holding her back. She needed an income. As she drew closer to submission, Mala began to experience an emotional upheaval. This was due to her mother's disinterest in her achievements, and her life in general. She said she was crying a lot on 'random' occasions, was having trouble sleeping, and felt depressed and hopeless. She was also distressed due to the marital pressures placed upon her by her culture and family. Mala has had some therapy in the past but unrelated to her present issues.
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The Journey:
During the first few sessions, we worked on the practical strategies for Mala to be get the support she needed financially and in academia. We focused on improving her lifestyle and social dose whilst she was in a state of limbo. We used Narrative therapy to externalize her anxiety as a separate entity which she named 'Goober.' When the issues with her mother surfaced, she grieved for the love and care she had always wanted, reconnected with her younger self through Multiplicity/Parts Work, and used the Empty Chair technique for her to saw what she had to say to her mother. During the first Empty Chair episode, she expressed her anger towards her mother. In the second episode, she forgave herself and her mother. We also explored her creative side, and she expressed inspiration to create a piece of art to symbolise her growth.
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Outcome:
Over the course of a few months, Mala's sleep and overall wellbeing improved. She was excited about her future and felt confident about meeting her mother again. In the last session, she mentioned that she had reached out to her mother to share some good news without expectation. She had reinstated trust in herself, was less negatively affected by the relationship she had with her mother, and began forging a life for herself in Australia. She was also able to express her wishes around marriage towards her family.
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Client Reflection:
Mala shared, "It was easy to relate to you because I did not feel like I had to explain my cultural background, nor the world of academia. But most importantly, I feel free from the chains of the pain I experienced from my mother. I never cried so much in my life but I felt like I had to. I feel like I can laugh again."
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Conclusion:
The two versions of Mala I saw were vastly different. Although both versions had the same sense of dark humor, the latter version of Mala had a brighter spark and was less cynical. Mala felt safe enough in the therapeutic relationship to enter a state of vulnerability, in order to heal. We also employed imaginative techniques and humor to navigate through her anxiety. We also leaned into her strengths in order to customize an approach fitted for her. Therapeutic methods varied as we journeyed through her emotional needs.
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