Updated: Feb 4, 2022
Feeling stuck is a common human experience. So you are not alone. You can feel stuck at some point in your life, whether in your career, your love life, your family relationships, or even when identifying a next goal or interest you want to pursue. Other times, feeling stuck can be because your external circumstances have changed.
Now, if you learn best by reading, keep scrolling on. If you learn better by listening and visuals, click on this link where I deliver the information of this article on video:
Stuckness can look like:
Really wanting something—a new job, relationship, or improved health... and then losing motivation to do anything about it.
Starting to pursue something you are interested in... but backing out from taking further steps towards it.
Over-thinking about what could be better or different.“The grass is greener on the other side” Syndrome
Not being able to make a decision, and worrying about it, therefore removing you from being present and enjoying life.
How does being stuck impact your life?
Your quality of life is just not as awesome as it can be. This is because you have trouble being present; your mind is preoccupied with continuous worries and indecision.
You are less present with your loved ones and your friends, and that can in turn impact the quality of these relationships.
Your sleep gets affected, which therefore affects your energy levels, and your mood.
You find yourself more tired than usual.
Your work can suffer as a result.
So now we know what it looks like and how it can impact your life.
And HOW do we get ourselves into this position?
Some of the reasons can be that:
You’ve outgrown a situation. You need more out of life or work now, simply because you have grown.
You want to honour your values more. If your day-to-day life doesn’t fulfil your personal values , you may start feeling quite jaded.
Being stuck is easier than putting all that work in for the desired outcome. Accepting that things can be hard is helpful, because you can identify WHY it’s hard, and then strategize accordingly.
The success of others can make you feel less than worthy. We often compare ourselves with our peers, loved ones, and social group. Being inspired by others can enrich our lives, but comparing others' successes with our own can switch our self-critic on.
Conditions of your life have changed or piled up. You have bitten off more than you can chew, or you lack the skills or resources to manage.
So HOW can you get unstuck?
1. Identify what you really want.
Sit down an figure out where you want to go and how to get there.
Deconstruct it as much as possible.
That way you can strategise. Only then will you know where to start, how much time is needed, and what resources you already have, and will need. When the goal is no longer vague, it can materialise. It is then actionable and less daunting. Often life coaches can be very helpful here.
2. Zoom out.
Change your perspective by asking yourself one of these questions:
I like to take an existential spin on things and ask myself:
"How much will this matter when I am 80 years old?" or "How much will this matter when I am on my deathbed?" If that isn't really your jam, you can simply ask yourself, "How can I see this situation differently?" or "How would (insert name of person who inspires you) see this differently?" Ultimately, these types of questions can really set things into perspective.
3. Move your body.
I cannot emphasise this more. We often don’t realise how much our brain NEEDS our body. Changing the state of your body whether in terms of physical activity, or going out into nature can get some chemicals running. You just may come back with more zest in life, or maybe even some inspiration. So give your brain a break, let the body take over.
4. Decide to decide later.
What do I mean? The idea is not to pressure yourself with making a decision now if it is not urgent. Set the decision date in the near future. A lot can change in life. And freeing up some mental space and reducing the pressure can help with clarity.
5. Avoid analysis paralysis.
Almost all of us are guilty of this at some point in our lives. I definitely do this before bed when I am in a tight spot. I feel like kicking myself for it when I realise that I am ruminating. (So that's me lacking self-compassion there, I acknowledge that!) To get out of this loop, take a micro step towards your desired goal.
For e.g. If you want to lose weight, just bring all the unhealthy treats you have in your pantry to the work place, dump them on the common table, and slowly.. walk.. away.. from it.
If you are like me and start analysis paralysis IN BED, I start listening to a podcast that inspires me to get closer to my goal.
However, sometimes our life circumstances aren’t so straightforward. We, as humans, are complex beings, therefore there’s often a web of complexity woven into in our lives
This is where seeing a therapist or a counsellor can be very helpful. A therapist assumes the position of non-judgment, to whom you can spill your thoughts and emotions freely. You have a space to unload, be heard, and think through your concerns with someone that can guide you according to your own values. You can also discover strengths that are unique to you, and develop strategies that best suit you collaboratively.
You can find therapists or counsellors like myself from:
1) Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/au;
2) the Australian Counselling Association (ACA) https://www.theaca.net.au/, and;
3) the Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia (PACFA) https://www.pacfa.org.au/.
These sites also have tons of valuable resources you can refer to, so be sure to check them out.
If you have any other tips and ideas about getting unstuck, I’d love to hear from you so please leave a comment.
If you would like to connect with me, you can drop me a message through this website: https://www.aroad2recovery.com/contact.